โ i can feel this heart inside me and i conclude it exists. i can touch this world and i also conclude that it exists. all my knowledge ends at this point. the rest is hypothesis โ
me: so you took a shower and then you heard the gun shot
witness: yes
me as a lawyer: isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate
witness: i’m bald
gwendolyn-sophia liked this 
the-dirty-cowboy liked this 
herequeeranduncomfortable reblogged this from thebootydiaries 
mellowdeesthings liked this 
offendedshadows liked this squidwardtortellni reblogged this from thebootydiaries
confused-and-dickless liked this 
teetering-dinosaur liked this lux--aurea liked this
littlegoldfinchh reblogged this from transjbucky - littlegoldfinchh liked this
transjbucky reblogged this from nessa007 musejay reblogged this from nessa007
neurotic-biotic liked this
gweiddiatecate reblogged this from ripley-stark merlinsbeard11 liked this
elibeli07 liked this 
lady-bird025 reblogged this from ihatemygutz 
justaboyinlove21 liked this 
supernaturalthings liked this 
carabooo liked this sweetlittlepieandberrycustard liked this
amazingspiderman reblogged this from thebootydiaries 
cakethief03 liked this lovenottrauma reblogged this from thebootydiaries