❛ i can feel this heart inside me and i conclude it exists. i can touch this world and i also conclude that it exists. all my knowledge ends at this point. the rest is hypothesis ❜

deductionhunters:

I still haven’t decided which form of pun delivery I prefer

• said with a shitty grin, followed by a “aaaaaaahhhhhhh?“ that increases in volume and pitch (finger pistols optional but recommended)
• said in absolute deadpan with no change in facial expression and no follow-up at all
• said online where nobody can tell what you’re doing as you write it
• UPS worldwide expedited with tracking

#I deliver all my puns w Canada Post#just for the#stamp of approval